“How do you know they’re not a serial killer?” said my mum.
“She’s a girl” I replied, as I fixed my lipstick.
“How do you know she’s a girl? That’s what these people do, they say they’re a young innocent girl, but they’re really a serial killer, or looking for a sex slave, or part of the Mafia”
I rolled my eyes
“Mum, I talked to her on the phone”
“Maybe that’s some other poor girl this serial killer has found, and he’s forcing her to talk to you before he tortures and kills her”
“Look mum, I’m taking my mobile. I’ll be careful. Any hint of serial killerness and I’ll be out of their pronto”
My mother didn’t look convinced.
“I’m going to worry Cassandra.”
“I know” I replied “Try not to tonight for once”
“Ah, this may sound rude, so forgive me, but are you gay?”
“No, but don’t worry, lots of people think the same thing. I’m part of the queer club at Uni, and a couple of the lesbians have hit on me”
“You can join the queer club even if you’re not gay?”
“Well, not officially. They have all these rules about it being a ‘queer-only’ space, but segregation is not the answer to discrimination. It’s a great group. So are you at uni?”
Sun, Mar. 2nd, 2003, 07:30 pm
It's painfully obvious that my current method of writing isn't working. I just haven't got the motivation. It's far too easy to tell myself "I'm feeling too down today, I'll do it next weekend". Then next weekend I'm too tired, or damnit, I've worked hard all week so why can't I have some fun?
I tried working for just half an hour today, and that went well. I managed to get over a page of typed writing. I think I'll try and do this every night (bar Monday) this week, and see how I feel. If it's too hard, or not effective, then I'll drop it.
I want to write. I like writing. I like achieving something. I want to have something to look to, to have as a benchmark for how far I've come. Yet, when it comes down to it, I don't have the effort or the motivation.
Sat, Jun. 8th, 2002, 01:16 am
I'm never good at acting on impulse. I hope I didn't make a huge mistake in creating this. Never mind, I've still got twelve codes still left. It's not like I've given any codes away yet. I'm just a bit anal when it comes to things like this. I don't like to spend money either (but I do).
This is my creative writing journal. For a couple of months now, I've been working on a writing project. It's in bits and pieces around my room. Some is on my computer, some is on another journal I started and never update, and some is in the notebooks I take with me. I like to write as I wait for public transport.
I'm going to re edit like mad. I also don't know who I'll let read this. I'm very paranoid about letting other people read my writing. I'll probably just let Liz and Nikki read this at first, then add more people once I get more confident. I think a public audience will inspire me to write more.